Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
