Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i out mim tonsoeep
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
