using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wish I only lived at night.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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