I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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