There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
