He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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