I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
