had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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