He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
