break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
