before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
