i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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