I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
