I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
