Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I could make wine with my vomit
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
