i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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