honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
