We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
