he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
