Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
