you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
