I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I FOUND THE LEGS
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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