but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
