you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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