How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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