Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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