Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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