I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
