found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
