I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
