Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
