somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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