not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
