yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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