Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize