Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Yo dont text me then not text me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
