There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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