i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
