Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
