i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize