I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
