if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I came so hard my ears popped.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
