Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
