did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
