no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
