Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
