I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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