Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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