you would pick up someone in the library
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
