"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
