Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
