haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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