I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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