You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
