My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
home. puking in laundry basket.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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