THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
