Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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