you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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