After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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